Monday, March 15, 2010

Kaptain Krazy

Wow, I just have to post about Christian today. He is the light of my life. The life of my life. The kid never lets me rest. Always challenging me, making me laugh, making me work, making me pray, making me try not to kill him (hard work, srsly), making me want to be around him, making me not want to be around him, making me be silly and then telling me I'm ridiculous, which I don't ever mind because I know deep down he really thinks I'm cool; making me cuddle, making me keep my eyes peeled, and my ears, and my mom-sense, making me write a really long run-on sentence about him because there's just so much he makes me do and feel and experience. Gasp!

Christian, Christian, Christian. He is strong. Physically? Yes, and spiritually too. And good. And crazy and funny and silly and brave and loving and responsible and hard-working and impulsive and creative and athletic and scary and talented and adventurous and wonderful.

May I tell you a story? Once we went to visit my sister in the hospital. She had been in a car accident and was kept there overnight. There was a little boy, probably 18 months old, in the room next door. He was hysterically crying. The nurses said he'd been crying like that for days. It was so sad. And quite distracting. After a few minutes we noticed the crying had stopped. We also noticed Christian, around 3 years old at the time, was missing. It didn't take long to find him next door, making funny faces and goofy sounds...and making the baby laugh. Laugh! He hadn't stopped crying for days and now he was laughing! The exhausted mother was so relieved and grateful. It was a glimpse of the future for us, though we may not have realized it then.

He also ate a glass Christmas tree ornament like it was an apple a year or so before that. Bloody mouth, shards of broken glass all around, and he reached up, picked another off the tree and tried to eat that one too, just before we grabbed him and hauled him to the ER.

And there you have a fairly balanced picture of the tempestuous ball of life-force that is Christian.

I'm going to be honest with you. I had a hard time liking him for several years when he was a toddler. Really. I know it sounds terrible, but I sincerely wished there was a humane, legal, child-sized CAGE I could keep him in for a large chunk of the day so he wouldn't break anything or hurt anyone (including himself) or ruin anything or make me want to commit homicide for at least a few hours a day. I didn't understand how his brain worked. He made no sense to me, acting without thinking all the time. How do you do that? Do you really not wonder what might happen? Nope. He didn't. There was no button he wouldn't push, no lever he wouldn't pull. If it looked fun or interesting, he'd do it and worry about the consequences later. Oh, silly me! Here I am acting like that was all in the past. Haha. VERY little has changed since then. Although he does think things through so much better than he used to. He has learned a lot about himself through the years and I have to give him props. He has adapted and worked to change for the better. And he has been able to do it without losing his sense of curiosity, wonder, fun, adventure.

I think the best thing that ever happened for the two of us was home-schooling him in the 6th grade. I know what you're thinking: "YOU? Homeschooling? No way." But yes way. It was one of those heroic-parent things to do, I'll admit it. I'll take credit for it. It was hard (soooooo hard!) but at the time I knew it was the best thing, the only thing for him that year. And so I made the grand sacrifice. And you know what? I think it saved our lives. We really got to know each other. We figured each other out. I don't get too serious about stuff with him unless it's really serious. I don't break his trust. He doesn't push me too far. He tries really hard not to let me down. He always knows I love him. I always know he loves me. We really 'get' each other.

Not long after that our relationship was tested, big time. Our family was tested big time. Our faith was tested big time. Our love for each other was tested. Big time. Tested and aced. Not easily, but painstakingly, rigorously, and eventually. Aced. I'll admit it. I'll take (some) credit for it. But I'll also give credit for it. To Christian, who humbly and sincerely worked and worked and earned his way to where he is now. And to the rest of our family, who gave trust and forgiveness and unconditional love. Even before it was earned. But in the end, it was earned.

Christian can command a room with nothing but his emotion. His vibe. His mojo. That can be good or bad, but either way, it's remarkable. It's powerful. He just has to remember to use his special powers for good, otherwise he could become quite the evil genius villain.

Boy, couldn't I just go on about him all day. But I won't. Because for one thing, he comes home at random and varied times throughout the day and I don't want to get busted writing this!

Anyway, I think I made my point. I really like him. He's crazy with a capital K, but I like him a lot in spite of it. Oh, who am I kidding? I like him a lot BECAUSE of it.